Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Dumbest. Movie. Ever.

Napoleon Dynamite movie poster

“Taking Stupidity to a Whole New Level”

When I first decided to make a Napoleon Dynamite page for this site, I planned on making it a part of my eyebrow-raising movie reviews.  But after some thought, I realized that Napoleon Dynamite was also a perfect candidate for the Hall of Legends.  In the end, I decided to compromise, and make this article a little bit of both.  We’ll see how it goes…

So why did Napoleon Dynamite make me “raise my eye-brows”?  Simply because it is the hands-down stupidest movie I’ve ever watched all the way through.  Usually when movies are this terrible, you just change the channel or turn off the TV.  But Napoleon Dynamite wouldn’t let me do that.  For weeks I had heard people rave about how funny this movie was.  So as Napoleon Dynamite slowly rotted away my brain, I kept waiting for the funny part…

It never came.

I like to think that I have a very good sense of humor.  I can appreciate almost every kind of comedy, from stand-up to slapstick to sarcasm.  I can laugh at the subtlety of Seinfeld, the over-the-top antics of Dumb and Dumber, and the unintentional type that permeates most reality television.  It’s safe to say that I’m a big fan of humor.  Yet I can honestly say that I didn’t laugh once at Napoleon Dynamite, and I’m pretty sure that I didn’t smile.

Napoleon Dynamite played by John Heder

Napoleon Dynamite is just plain stupid.  There is no storyline.  And to top it off, the hero of our story, played by John Heder, isn’t even somebody you would want to see succeed even if there was a goal for him to achieve in the film.  Seriously, take a look at that guy.  What is one redeeming quality that Napoleon Dynamite possesses, other than the fact he makes even the biggest loser seem cool by comparison?  So basically, Napoleon Dynamite brings to the table absolutely no semblance of a plot, terrible characters who you would never want to breathe the same air with if they were real people, and a comedy rating that’s on par with Schindler’s List’s.  And yet this is the movie everybody was raving about.  This is the movie that everybody thinks is hilarious to quote.  This is the film that has spawned “Vote for Pedro” T-shirts everywhere you look.  Which brings me to why Napoleon Dynamite has cemented its place as an infamous member of the Hall of Legends…

Vote for Pedro

As I ranted in my review of John Heder‘s other movie, “Just Like Heaven”, I highly doubt that anybody actually likes Napoleon Dynamite.  My theory is that all the people who say how it’s so hilarious, think it’s so funny to quote it, and so cool to wear T-Shirts from it are only doing so because of peer-pressure.  Somewhere along the line it became “cool” to like Napoleon Dynamite, and so now it’s mandatory put on a show and act like it’s your favorite movie of all time.  And to top it off, this goes against everything that Napoleon Dynamite would have actually have stood for, if it wasn’t so stupid that it stood for absolutely nothing (The fact that this sentence makes sense just proves how idiotic Napoleon Dynamite really is).  If this movie stood for something, it would be that people need to just be themselves.  So of course everyone uses it as a way to be like everyone else and find acceptance from their peers.

Napoleon Dynamite on the couch

And to finalize and solidify my point, I’ll ask those of you who disagree with what I’ve written so far, to think about the following:  If none of your friends liked this movie, and they wouldn’t think that quoting it or wearing “Vote for Pedro” shirts was funny, would you still like Napoleon Dynamite?

Yeah, I thought so.

DeROK’s Take:

Napoleon Dynamite, you are a bad movie of legendary proportions..

About Derek Hanson

Doctor by day, blogger by night, Derek Hanson is the founder of the Bloguin Network and has been a Patriots fan for more than 20 years.