TMNT Bios: Part 2

April, Casey Jones, and the villians of the TMNT universe.

BIOGRAPHY OF APRIL O’NEIL
TV News Reporter & Turtles’ #1 Fan

VITAL NEWS:

Birthplace: The Valley

Height: 5′ 5″
Weight: 115 lbs.
Age: A young 25

April’s a determined TV news journalist, always prepared for the late breaking news feature with her camcorder strapped ’round her arm. Her eagerness, however, gets her into trouble and makes her a big pain in the shell for the Turtles, who always end up saving the damsel in distress.

Still, April’s no air head and is a valuable member of the Turtle Team. Being a pretty human has its advantages, like getting into places the Turtles can’t. When the situation calls for more than a news flash, April’s ready with a trusty gun, which is secretly locked in her camcorder.

 

BIOGRAPHY OF Casey Jones
Deranged Psychopath

Height: 6′ 2″
Weight: 235 lbs. with fully loaded golf bag
Favorite Sports Team: Mudville Slingers
Favorite Food: Shake ‘n’ Break Chicken
Favorite Swing: Grand Slam

Like all psychos, Casey Jones, the masked sportsman, wanted to be a legend. Armed with broken bats, shattered dreams and one golf club, Casey turned his ambition toward crime-fighting. Modeling himself after his favorite vigilante cop show, Casey decided to take the law into his own mitts. Outfitted with castoff sportsgear, Casey challenges every criminal who dares to go out of bounds. This bat-bearing vigilante fights to rid the world of all bad sports, including those who would dare steal second base. Casey’s got a score to settle against all lawless losers – from litterbugs to madmen bent on world domination. Teaming up with our beloved Turtle Teens, Casey strikes out with a special vengeance against Shredder and the Foot Clan!

 

BIOGRAPHY OF SHREDDER
The Bad Guy Leader

VITAL STATISTICS:

Weapons: Cutting Armor, Sword, Ninja Stars, Fist Daggers, Kama

Birthplace: Osaka, Japan

Height: 6′
Weight: 200 lbs.

Shredder is the hideous, gruesome and all around bad guy leader of the Foot Clan, the organized band of evil Ninjas. This low life came to power when he betrayed his Ninja master, Hamato Yoshi (now Splinter).

Shredder wants nothing more than control of the world. And to get there, he’ll stop at nothing, even if it means grating his victims like cheese with his razor-sharp armor. The obstacles in his path are none other than the Turtles, and he means to destroy them. Shredder fights a never-ending battle against the truth, justice and the American way. Basically, he’s not a nice guy.

 

BIOGRAPHY OF KRANG
The Bodiless Burbling Brain

VITAL BRAINTISTICS:

Weapons: Brain-drain gun, Mobiloe Life-Support System, Mechanized Arms

Birthplace: Dimension X

Height: 1′ 6″ without body
Weight: 17 lbs. (soaking wet)
Age: Unknown
Favortie Phrase: “Home is where you hang your hat.”
Hobby: Phrenology

Krang is all the brains a body could want. Unfortunately, Krang ain’t got no body. He is, however, the mastermind behind Shredder and the Foot Clan.

Krang’s ranting, burbling, chortling, raving antics are a few of the reasons he was banished from his home-sweet-home of Dimension X. Now, Krang brings his smarty-pants attitude to the decent planet Earth, where law-abiding citizens are threatened by his supreme intelligence.

Krang also supplies Shredder with his controversial Retromutagen, the transformation substance which is instrumental in their conquests. Krang’s tentacles allow him to wrestle with his biggest headache, the Turtles – who pose a threat to his global dominance.

 

BIOGRAPHY OF BEBOP
Powerhouse Punk Enforcer for the Foot Clan

VITAL PUNKTISTICS:

Weapons: Turtle Shell Drill, Garbage Can Shield, Knife

Birthplace: Hoggywood

Height: 5′ 10″
Weight: 265 lbs.
Age: 19

Bebop is the mutant punk rock hog who could slam dance his way through any crowd. This roadhog warrior dares to shave his head in blatant opposition to the establishment and his parents. Behind his mohawk ponytail, cool shades and all-star tennis shoes lurks the heart of a pig, ready to pulverize the Turtles. Guided by the evil Shredder, Bebop is willing to roll in the mud to snort out the Turtles. His two turtle shoulder pads cover a grotesque array of safety pins, tattoos and junk food.

Always at his side, the Shell Drill serves as a constant reminder that the party’s not over… until every Turtles lies on its back.

 

BIOGRAPHY OF ROCKSTEADY
Mutant G.I. Mauler and Shredder’s #1 Thug

VITAL RHINTISTICS:

Weapons: Retro-Mutagen Gun, Manhole Cover Shield, Turtle Carver Knife

Birthplace: La Brea Tar Pits

Height: 5′ 7″
Weight: 240 lbs.
Age: 25
Previous Forms: Military Punk/Rhinoceros

Rocksteady’s tough rhino body makes him a turtle-bashing powerhouse. His lack of smarts makes him dangerous. This mutant mammal is big trouble with his Retro-Mutagen Gun: one shot can level a whole building or a shelled turtle. Off-duty, Rocksteady loves to fry up a mess of juicy turtle burgers for the whole hungry Foot Clan.

Rocksteady’s fieldglasses survey the area for anything that looks like a Turtle. (He’s mistakingly blasted six soccer balls). This G.I. rockhead blatantly displays his victory kills with the turtle scalps he wears around his belt.


About Derek Hanson

Doctor by day, blogger by night, Derek Hanson is the founder of the Bloguin Network and has been a Patriots fan for more than 20 years.

Quantcast