It's been the running joke across the blogosphere this season – Tom Brady's hair. The topic has been overused to the point where it's cliche and no longer funny, just like puns about Brett Favre "retiring", Al Davis being dead, Rothlisberger's treatment of women, and Rex Ryan's waistline. (Ok, so maybe Rex Ryan fat jokes never get old, but you get my point.) We've heard it all by now. "He looks like Justin Beiber!" He he he! "Gisele won't let him cut his hair cuz he's whipped!" Ha ha ha! And as Randy Moss reportedly told Brady during a locker room scuffle, "He looks like a girl!".
To be completely honest, I'm not a fan of long hair. I've never had long hair and never will have long hair. However, if Brady wants to grow out his locks, it's fine by me. I think he looks better with short hair, and I think that there have been a handful of photos over the past few months where he's looked a little bit like a pretty boy, but I'll tell you one thing – when he was trotting off the field last Monday Night, victorious, with the Miami humidity greasing him up a bit, this is what his long hair reminded me of…
Yup, Big Daddy Cool, himself. Last week, Brady looked nothing like a 14 year old pop-star and every bit the six-foot-plus hulking athlete that could be stepping into the squared circle to battle for the belt at Wrestlemania. Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, Razor Ramon, Macho Man Randy Savage, The Undertaker – there's not a short haired man in the bunch. All the greats had flowing manes.
It made me think that perhaps Gisele didn't want Tom to grow out his hair for the next GQ cover shoot, but rather because it makes her feel like she's married to this guy…
That's Samson from the Bible. He killed something like 1,000 men using only the jawbone of a donkey. In the image above, he's killing a lion with his bare hands – also recorded in the Bible. Samson got his power from his long hair. Maybe Tom Brady is onto something…
You know who else had long hair? This guy! Now maybe it was a wig, but George Washington definitely wasn't sporting a buzzcut when he led the revolution that founded this great country. If long hair was good enough for the greatest American Patriot of them all, then you better believe it's an appropriate hairstyle for the greatest New England Patriot of them all! So grow your hair if you want to, Tom Brady. Dont' listen to all the mockers and the haters.
Because nobody's going to give a rip about what your hair looks like when you're hoisting the Lombardi Trophy for the fourth time!
