Survivor: Exile Island – Episode 3

Survivor Panama: Exile Island Blog
Episode 3 Elimination: Misty

One plea to the execs at CBS: Can we bring back the Survivor opening credits?  Maybe it’s just me, but I thoroughly enjoyed the music and cool special effects they used in the opening sequences.  If time is such a factor, why not cut the completely worthless Febreze Survivor Family moments?

Anyway, now that I’ve got that off my chest… If this were the World Series of poker, I would have gone “all in” with Cirie being the next one to get the axe.  But this is Survivor, so of course I was

wrong.  If this game was the least bit predictable, it wouldn’t be nearly as popular.  And let me just add that if Cirie manages to escape elimination for a fourth consecutive week, she’ll have totally earned my respect and might even get a spot in the predictions section.

So Bruce joins his new tribe and immediately takes control.  It just so happens that Mr. Miyagi knows about more than just karate.  Claiming to be a wilderness expert, he immediately begins to improve life for the struggling Casayans.  One thing I would like to point out is that Miyagi’s theory of purifying water by filtering it through t-shirts is complete crap.  Bacteria can definitely get through t-shirts.  And I don’t care if it really does make it “90% pure”.  All you need is a few cells of Shigella to make it through your Fruit of the Looms, and you’re entire tribe is going to be suffering with bloody diarrhea for the next 30 days.  Try winning the immunity idol with a prolapsed rectum Bruce-san.  Isn’t being a medical student great???

In other Casaya news… Mr. Mesothilioma has fallen even further off his rocker, screaming uncontrollably and picking fights with almost every member of his team. And to the dismay of airheads everywhere, Shane has focused his animosities on Courtney the Fire Dancer…

…Which begs the question, “What exactly is a Fire Dancer?” I know Survivor has always been a sucker for gimmicks like Dan the Astronaut and Gary the NFL Quarterback, but a Fire Dancer?  And the first Survivor eliminated, Tina, had the profession of Logging Sports Promoter. It makes you wonder what’s on tap for next season.  Time Traveler?  Wizard?  If I ever end up on Survivor, I’m ditching the doctor label for “Dinosaur Hunter”.

Of course the whole “fake profession” controversy led to this exchange between me and my girlfriend:

Maria: “What’s Shane’s profession?”

Derek:  “Insane Asylum Escapee.”

In a stunning turn of events, Casaya actually won immunity, in what just might have been the best challenge in Survivor history.  It was basically a cross between steal the bacon and the WWF, in which the intentional comedy was just through the roof. It ended with Ruth Marie sprinting with the sandbag while Bobby followed in hot pursuit.  Predictably, Bobby, a huge man in incredible shape, overcame the old and decrepit Ruth Marie to seal the victory.

So La Mina is unexplainably heading towards immunity, and in the shocker of all shockers, Terry and Skeletor decide Ruth Marie is more valuable than Misty.  This puts the tandem of Nick and Austin in an awkward situation, as they’ve been playing the fence and now have to choose whether to go with the guys or Sally and Misty.

The guys end up sticking together, and Misty ends up right where I expected her to be when she pulled that “I might have the immunity idol” stunt.

Now onto my winner predictions…

Austin:  He has to be included on the list now that he’s an official member of the strongest alliance on the strongest team.  He still doesn’t strike me as the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you still have to like his odds now.

Last Week’s Chances: N/A  This Week: 7:1

Nick: He seems to be floating under the radar a bit, since most people will start gunning for Terry. But Nick’s the one they should really be concerned about.

Last Week’s Chances: 5:1 This Week: 4:1

Bruce:  He’s on Casaya, so that’s negative points.  Also, he may have put a nice target on his back by proving to be “too valuable”.  Of course all bets are off once Casaya comes down with dysentery. 

Last Week’s Chances: 14:1  This Week’s Chances: 12:1

Terry:  He’s got a rock solid alliance, but definitely has the biggest target on his back out of everyone.  

Last Week’s Chances for Terry: 3:1   This Week’s Chances:  3:1

Dan:  He seems to be taking on the role of the guy who everyone likes, but nobody dares take him to the final two.  That’s never a good thing.

Last Week’s Chances for Dan: 4:1  This Week’s Chances: 5:1

And as for my pony on Survivor Panama: Exile Island, Sally: Her alliance fell apart.  She lost the fishing spear.  Things just aren’t looking good for Sally.  On the bright side, it looks like Ruth Marie will be the next casualty of La Mina, so she should still make it to the merge as I doubt Casaya has two more immunity challenge wins in them. 

Last Week’s Chances:  7.5:1  This Week’s Chances: 20:1

The only thing saving her is that she’s probably the best girl out there.  After Sally, I’d probably have to go with Cirie.  And she’s been my pick to get voted off for the past three weeks!