Women are evil.
Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Blog: Episode 3
3rd Elimination: Randy
Well, we are now three episodes into Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains and things continue to get more and more interesting. In general, the first three, four, or even five episodes of a Survivor season usually aren’t all that interesting. Most of the time, we’re forced to endure a few snooze-fests as the overly annoying, overly weak, or overly old competitors are picked off in the early tribal councils. It isn’t until the later episodes that we’re treated to the entertainment of major back stabs, blindsides, and betrayals. However, thanks to the star-studded cast of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, we get to see a powerhouse player go down nearly every episode. Every single tribal council from the first episode to the last is utterly vital, as a single mistake could be the difference between being the fourth person voted out or coming home a millionaire. With that in mind, it’s no surprise that this episode was another winner.
Even the best fall down sometimes…
I think it’s safe to say that no one has ever played the game of Survivor as well as Russell last season. He completely pulled the wool over every single castaway’s eyes and ran circles around them in Samoa. There have certainly been some amazing strategic performances in the past, notably Boston Rob in All-Stars, Todd in China, Amanda and Parvati in Micronesia, and JT in Tocatins, but none were as overwhelmingly dominating as a performance Russell put on. With that in mind, his antics the past few episodes with Parvati have left me more than a little confused. How do you follow up that is strategically brilliant season by coming out of the gate the next season in clear violation of rule number one of the Survivor Manifesto?
It boggles my mind how many people violate this rule. It seems like nearly every season some fool falls into this obvious trap of death by flirtation. We are now in the 20th season of survivor, and once, ONCE, in all those seasons has somebody claimed the million dollars thanks to an alliance built on flirting. At least in the case of Boston Rob and Amber, that flirting led to marriage as well as the win. So maybe there’s something to be said for the power of love. However, you can try to sell me all you want that when this season is up, Parvati will still be flirting it up with Russell and his missing tooth, but I ain’t buying it. Plain and simple, it appears that the mastermind of masterminds has let a girl get in his head.
The whole situation just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Last season, Russell’s entire game was predicated on manipulating the dumb women of his tribe. Danielle would fit perfectly into this mold. Instead, he’s managed to align himself, and overtly so, with one of the shrewdest women this game is ever seen. The one and only explanation I can think of for Russell’s alliance with Parvati, is that as a big target himself, he’s found a way to hide behind an even bigger one. Still, when the Villains wise up and send that she-devil packing, Russell is going to find himself awfully vulnerable.
Would you like some eggs with that scramble?
When it came time to make my “pick”, it just didn’t seem like a very smart move to choose a previous winner to repeat. As a jury member choosing between two people, the fact that one has already claimed a milion dollar prize could certainly affect your judgment. That being said, I’m starting to kick myself a little for overlooking JT. He’s completely sold everyone on the perception of him as a hero, but from what I’ve seen so far, no one has told more lies than the good ol’ boy from Oklahoma. JT has come to play! The way he sniffed out Candice as a potential flipper, and subsequently turned Cirie against her was a thing of beauty! Rarely do you see someone working people over and strategically causing division this early on. It’s almost as if JT took some of his winnings and invested in getting some higher education in the school of Russell. JT simply has it all. He’s strong, he’s smart, and he’s got everybody fooled.
But the point I want to make isn’t how good of a game JT is playing, but how poorly Candice is doing. As soon as Cirie approached her about the lie JT had spun, Candice started scrambling to every single person on tribe in an attempt to sniffed out who had spun the mistruth. The problem with this is that Candice was assuming that whoever told the lie was going to fess up. I think we’ve all watched this game long enough to know that wasn’t going to happen. Now all that Candice has to show for her efforts is a giant target on her back. Common logic would say that she’s the next Hero to go, but you just never know with this game.
Some quick hits:
- Not that I would ever accuse the producers of a reality TV show of being anything but above board, but it seemed very convenient that an immunity challenge which heavily favored the Heroes popped up at a time when the game was about to turn irreparably in the Villains’ favor.
- Five years from now, when the scandal breaks regarding the use of performance-enhancing substances in Survivor, we will all look back at James’ actions this season, and think of it as a point in time where we should have known something was up. Mark my words, he’s the show’s version of Sammy Sosa.
- I know that 95% of America is completely ga-ga over him, but I can’t stand Colby Donaldson. If you ever need to know the reason why, look no further than his whiny outburst with Tom following last week’s tribal council. “I’m not sure I even want to play this game anymore.” Hey Colby, how about you tell that to a Boston Rob who passed out from the flu from a day earlier or to the other Russell from last season who nearly died fighting for the million. Colby can hide behind the guise that he didn’t want to play this suddenly “unethical” game, but the fact of the matter is he knew he didn’t have the numbers on his side and was talking sour grapes.
- Coach’s soundbite in which he said, “Nobody in this game has any morals… except for me” and then proceeded to quote the great Martin Luther King had me rolling on the floor! Are we sure that Coach isn’t just quoting lines from Michael Scott on The Office?
Randy or Parvati?
As we all know, the Villains lost the immunity challenge and had to go to tribal Council for the first time. The consensus choice was between Randy or Parvati. The case against Randy was his lack of physical prowess, while the case against Parvati was that she’s completely untrustworthy, insanely dangerous, and can easily flip on her tribe due to her connections with Amanda, James, and Cirie. I believe the Randy summed up the situation better than anyone else. “If my friends decide to send me packing, I don’t really care, because it just means that they’re next.”
How major strategists like Boston Rob, Sandra, and Tyson managed to let Parvati live even another day is beyond me. Randy may not have been strong, but he’s fairly predictable. He’s not going to make any major plays, and can generally be depended on to make the move that serves his own best interest. People like Randy are easy to build an alliance and a game plan around. They’re the perfect companion for a Russell or Boston Rob. Parvati on the other hand, will slit your throat while she spoons with you in the shelter.
And on that note, we’ll close this latest blog post. But not before adding an thrrd proverb to the Survivor Manifesto, courtesy of Boston Rob.
Proverb #3 – if you want to know who he person is aligned with, pay attention to who their sleeping with. People don’t like to sleep next to the person they’re going to vote out.