Survivor: Micronesia – Episode 4

Stupidity runs wild in the Fans camp.

Survivor: Micronesia Blog
4th Elimination: Mikey B

“With stupidity, even the gods struggle in vain.” – William Blum

I used that quote to end the Suvivor: Fiji Blog after Dreamz had managed to demolish the season with his illogical and inexplicable decisions. After what we witnessed at the end of Thursday night’s episode, I had to break it out once again. It just fit the situation too well. Dirty Ogre deciding to keep Chet and oust Mikey B was enormously stupid on so many levels. I could re-hash all of them, but my head might explode in the process. Just know that when you’re tied in the numbers and facing off against super-human opponents like James and Ozzy, it is never, ne-e-e-e-ever the right decision to off one of your strongest players in favor of someone who looks like a holocaust survivor.

Let me just make it clear – under NO circumstances, other than your own head or a invaluable alliance member’s head being directly on the chopping block, is that decision ever the right one. Numbers heading into the merge are everything in this game. Eleven out of the fifteen winners in this game have been on the team with the numbers at the merge. One of those four winners was Yul in Cook Islands, who technically doesn’t count since he would’ve had numbers, except Jonathan and Candice mutinied. The only reason he did win was because Jonathan then decided to flop back to his side and give him back the numbers. The other three winners who didn’t have the numbers are Jenna in The Amazon, Chris in Vanuatu, and Danni in Guatamala. (By the way, I came up with those stats off the top of my head. I just had to point that out to strengthen my case when the CBS executives are looking for a host for the inevitable Survivor Pre-Game show.)

Do you notice a trend among those three people, Jenna, Chris, and Danni? How many of them appeared to be true threats to win the game? More importantly, how many of them were gigantic, intimidating cavemen? Mark my words, if Dirty Ogre doesn’t have the numbers at the merge and does not have immunity, he will be the first to go. Maintaining a strong tribe to get the numbers and also take the humongous target off his back should have been priority #1 for him. The decision he made to get rid of Mikey B was 180 degrees in the opposite direction from that priority, and that, my friends, is what we call “stupidity”.

I’ve tried to look at the situation from many angles and remove my bias from the scenario because I obviously wanted Mikey B to stay around and keep my 14-season streak of getting my pick to the merge intact. However, the only conclusion I can come to is that the move was simply a case of desperation coupled with massive stupidity. The desperation was on the part of Chet, Kathleen, and Tracy, who absolutely needed some sort of turn-around or they would’ve been picked off one by one. The stupidity was obviously Diry Ogre’s, but he doesn’t deserve all the blame. What really boggles my mind about the whole situation is that Dirty Ogre actually convinced two other people that this was the right idea. The final vote was 6-3. Obviously one of the fools was Erik, who spouted off that the “strongest” people in a tribe aren’t necessarily the most physically strong. That statement may have actually applied if Chet didn’t consistenly lay turd sandwiches during challenges, spend all day lying in the water or his tent, and generally look like a 4-pack-a-day chain smoker who’d gone a week and a half without a cigarette. Another “brilliant” tribal council comment was made by Tracy who argued that her, Chet, and Kathleen shouldn’t be blamed for the challenge losses since they were always the ones not participating. She seemed to forget that you can only sit one person out at a time, which means that on every challenge there was always two of them to screw things up. By elminating Chet, the Fans would be able to reduce the number of duds in each challenge down to one.

In all seriousness, they should probably change the name of this season to Survivor: Micronesia – Idiots vs. Jerks. It would certainly be a more fitting title. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there’s been a more intriguing initial four episodes in Survivor history. I love Season 16! But you have to admit that these supposed “Super Fans” may represent the collectively dumbest tribe ever. Even the tribe who lost every single challenge in Palau had Stephenie to redeem them. We’ve got at least two all-time scrubs in Kathleen and Chet who have each verbally given up at least once by this point. Dirty Ogre, Erik, and whoever else voted Mikey B have all clearly undergone a lobotomy. As a huge Survivor fan, I have to admit that I’m pretty embarrassed that these were the people chosen to represent us. For example, look at how easily Tracy was able to dupe Dirty Ogre into voting for Mikey B. She was clearly appealing to his ego and feeding on his paranoia. Would a true Survivor fan ever fall for that? Look at how Parvati handled Eliza’s posturing this episode. She listend to her pitch and then basically dismissed it as a desperation move, knowing that Eliza it going to come from every angle to save her skin. Dirty Ogre should have handled Tracy the exact same way. When you’re in control, you don’t take advice from people who are weak and trying to overthrow you. If you’ve watched a single season of this show, or just have an ounce of common sense, you should know this.

As for the favorites being jerks, well, they pretty much are. You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone willing to put Jonathan, Parvati, Ami, Eliza, or Johnny Fairplay up for a humanitarian award based on their previous play. While I appreciate Amanda’s strategic ability immensely, she also seems to slightly rub people the wrong way, which is why she lost in China. James has proven himself to be less than nice at times, with his treatment of Eliza this past episode as a shining example. Ozzy may be a freak of nature, but he’s also not Mr. Personality. Even though he was my pick in Cook Islands, I was constantly shaking my head at his bone-headed social moves. That basically leaves us with Cirie and Yau Man – two folks who love the play the “nice” underdog card, but would basically cut anyone’s throat to get ahead. Cirie clearly proved this last episode. As for the Yauster – a lot of people were outraged at Dreamz failing to hand over immunity at the end like he’d promised. I still think Dreamz should given it up as he did make a promise and had no shot of winning by keeping the necklace anyway, but don’t think for a second that Yau Man’s proposal was at all fair. Yau knew full-well that immunity was ten times more valuable than that car and Dreamz was the only person stupid and impulsive enough to take him up on it. Had Dreamz actually followed through with things, the car for immunity deal would have gone down as the fourth most lop-sided trade in the history of humanity, ranking only below Pau Gasol to the Lakers for Kwame Brown’s expiring contract, scrubs, and some high-20’s first round picks, the Indians swapping the island of Manhattan for a bag of marbles, and Esau selling his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of soup. Yau Man doesn’t seem so innocent now, does he?

You want a true favorites team from the past seven seasons? How does Denise and Frosti from China, Edgardo from Fiji, Nate and Sundra from Cook Islands, Terry from Exile Island, Rafe and Gary from Guatamala, Ian from Palau, and Chad from Vanuatu, sound? That’s a quality team where nobody’s won and there’s be a host of people you’d actually enjoy rooting for. If that’s too bland of a crew, you can always throw in a Shane Powers into the mix to stir up some drama. The point is, this season has been extremely enjoyable so far, but I’m not sure there’s anybody who I’ll actully want to see win. I didn’t even like Mikey B to be quite honest. I’m only making a big deal of him getting kicked off because 1. I hate stupid moves no matter who makes them, 2. This messed up a streak that I took quite a bit of pride in, and 3. After acting beyond graciously when the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, I feel I’m entitled to pitch a major fit at my second major disappointment in less than a month.

With Mikey B now out of the equation, I’m left with two choices. I can just watch the show like a normal human being without any strong, personal investment in the outcome, or I can re-enter the game like the Outcast Tribe in the Pearl Islands and make a new pick that won’t count towards my all-time statistics. Will this cheapen the thrill of any potential victory? Absolutely. But after the fiance decided to do things out of order and started rooting for Ozzy after he found the hidden immunity idol, I think the rules have clearly been thrown out the window this time around. Of course this leaves me with the dillemma of who to select. I’m going to hold off on making a selection until after the tribes have been re-arranged as that could make a huge difference.

RANDOM RANT ALERT: I simply cannot go on until I bring up how disappointed I am in next episode’s tribe switching. How is this Fans vs. Favorites when you mix up the teams after four tribal councils? It’s not like things are lopsided or boring and the show needs a new infusion of life! Why can’t we watch this play out to the merge as long as the numbers remain close? I really don’t know why the producers insist on switching this up quickly when they’ve spent months hyping up the show as a battle of the races, or the rich tribe and poor tribe. It’s completely bogus. When you add to it the fact that Dirty Ogre, Erik, and the rest of the mental midgets have potentially just been given a free pass after their asinine decision to keep Chet, it really gets my goat. If they end up on the opposite team from Chet, they will have actually INCREASED their odds of winning the game. Such massive stupidity should never be rewarded like that. Out of sheer principle, Dirty Ogre should have at least been subjected to one immunity challenge where he had to watch Chet nearly-drown and/or completely dog it through some sort of race. That’s the only way he’ll ever learn his lesson.

Anyway, the tribe switch up is exactly why I ditched the three observations this week, as any strategy has been completely thrown out the window. I do however, need to make my selection for my “second chance” pick. Here’s who I potentially like before I hit the Power Poll…

Jason – When he felt the need to interrupt Jeff Probst and beg his tribe to think about the future ramifications of their vote, I knew Mikey B was done for. That being said, the fact that he realizes this makes him unquestionably smarter than 75% of the Fans.

Alexis – For some reason I’ve always liked her. That tends to be a very positive thing in this game. I really wish that there was a way to figure out if she was the sixth vote for Mikey B or not, because if she were, that would clearly be a deal-breaker.

Tracy – She may be pathetic at challenges, but you have to be impressed with her unwillingness to give up despite a clear desire by Chet and Kathleen to mail it in. As a result, she managed to pull of a huge upset, and that has to count for something.

Amanda – I’ve respected her as a strategist from the beginnings of China. Out out everyone on this list, I think she’s the most likely to be there at the end, though I question her ability to actually pull out the win after her horrendous performace at the final tribal council.

Survivor Power Poll:

Ranking Player Comments Last Week
20 J. Fairplay Eliminated.
19 Mary Eliminated.
18 Yau Man Eliminated.
17 Mikey B Eliminated. 10
16 Chet There’s absolutely no excuse for him surviving another tribal council. 17
15 Eliza If she stays sick, it’s over for her. 15
14 Kathleen Last time I checked, she was still crazy. 16
13

Dirty Ogre

Stupid, easily manipulated, a physical threat, and generally unpleasant – not a recipe for a million dollar winner 13
12

Erik

Clearly an idiot after the last vote. 5
11 Natalie Flying under the radar, but also not making a case to win a million bucks. 8
10 James If the tribe switch doesn’t match up will for him, the fans may take their opportunity to knock him out quickly. 11
9 Jonathan He may have a new group of people to weasel into.  It’s the only thing that can save him at this point. 14
8 Tracy .She proved she’s not a quitter. 12
7 Ami Don’t count her out yet.  The woman can be deadly 7
6 Parvati She’s got the skills to go all the way, but people seem to enjoy targeting her. 4
5 Alexis I don’t know if she’s strategic enough to compete with the four people listed ahead of her, but I do like her. 1
4 Cirie She’ll win over the fans quickly, but you have to be concerned that people will find her too difficult to beat in the end. 2
3 Jason He proved himself to be one of the few smart fans and he’s strong.  I can’t imagine a fan winning this game and it not being him or Alexis. 6
2 Amanda The best strategist this game has seen since Yul, hands down. 3
1 Ozzy Nearly unbeatable for individual immunity AND he’s got the idol. 9

Biggest Riser: Ozzy (9th to 1st)

Biggest Faller: Tie – Mikey B (10th to 17th) and Erik (5th to 12th)

About Derek Hanson

Doctor by day, blogger by night, Derek Hanson is the founder of the Bloguin Network and has been a Patriots fan for more than 20 years.

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