Reality TV trashiness has been brought to a new level.
Over the past four years, the reality TV craze has brought us a wonderful cast of people just like you and me who have stopped at nothing to entertain the country. And out of this group of people, there have been a few that stood head and shoulders above the rest. They’re the type of people you just love to watch. They manage to be so captivating that the show is no longer about winning a million dollars or finding love, but simply just seeing what this person is going to do next. I’ve watched plenty of reality TV. There are few people who like it more than I do. And throughout all the shows I’ve seen, and the hundreds of people who participated in them, none has been as memorable as Olinda Borggren. And so one day removed from her exit on “The Next Joe Millionaire”, I’ve decided to honor her amazing performance by giving her a permanent place within the Hall of Legends.
Anybody who watched “The Next Joe Millionaire” has experienced first hand the jaw-dropping antics of Olinda. But since the second incarnation of the show doesn’t seem to be as popular as the first, I’m guessing a lot of you have no clue what I’m talking about. It stinks that you probably don’t, because this version of Joe Millionaire is infinitely better than the original. And the responsibility for that success rests squarely on the shoulders of Olinda Borggren. She’s one of a kind.
Olinda Borggren is stereotypical Euro-trash. She’s tanned her skin into shoe-leather. She smokes like a chimney. She drinks like a fish. She treats people like crap. And she believes she’s a “super-star”. Now I know that none of these things seem like appealing traits. But this is the Hall of Legends, not the search for the next Mother Theresa. And TV just doesn’t get much better than watching a girl like Olinda cat-fight her way through fifteen other girls to win the heart of a $11,000 a year cowboy who she thinks is worth $80 Million dollars.
Now I could try to describe Olinda Borggren to you in greater detail, but I don’t think that it would really do her justice. So I’m going to list some of her more notorious acts, in an attempt for you to get a feel for her:
On one of her group dates with Joe, the girls had the opportunity to make some pottery. Not one to do something unoriginal like make a bowl, Olinda decided to form her clay into, well… something else. When asked about this in a later interview, she responded by saying, “I have a very dirty imagination.”
When the girls had the chance to take a dip in the pool with Joe, Olinda decided that trying to pull of his swimming trunks was more fun than Marco Polo.
On a date in Rome, Olinda nearly cut off Joe’s hand with a sword.
And when Joe is on a date, the good people at FOX realize that it isn’t all that interesting and spend half the show going back to Olinda Borggren just to show what she’s saying about all the other women. Now most of the time, the expletive count is through the roof on these, so DeROK.Net won’t repeat them. But I’ve managed to come up with a profanity free line that she said to Cat, or as Olinda calls her “The ho that’s got to go.”
Cat: Why do you guys hate me now?
Olinda: Oh Cat, we don’t hate you now. We’ve always hated you.
Do you say that to people? You might jokingly, but who says stuff like that and means it? Apparently Olinda Borggren does. And when someone is willing to lose all their dignity and respectability to give us a quality hour of television each week, well that’s when you become a legend.
Since writing the above article, I’ve received an update on Olinda Borggren all the way from Sweden, and I thought I’d share it with you.
I surfed around and searched för facts about Olinda Borggren, the most absurd TV personality ever, and found your web page! We in Sweden haven't seen this Joe Millionaire show but we have seen Olinda this year in "Paradise hotel". She is in conflict with everyone in this TV show. She is completely absurd and there is a lot about her in the papers in Sweden just now. When Swedens biggest newspaper had a voting before Easter about "the Swedish witch of the year", Olinda won. Number two was Gudrun Schyman who is
the former leader of the Swedish communists. I laughed when I read your page about Olinda. Hope you don't think that everyone in Sweden is like Olinda....
- Cissi in Sweden
Thanks for the update Cissi. And don’t worry, I’m a big fan of the Swedish people, seeing as they’re my ancestors and all.
It’s also been brought to my attention that Olinda Borggren has recently made a name for herself in the music industry. Her first single is entitled, what else?… Playboy Bunny. I’d share a link to the video online, but it’s borderline pornographic.
If anybody has any more info about Olinda Borggren’s latest escapades, don’t hesitate to fill me in on the details. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org.